Hey blogger. There's something in me that I want to say.
I'm tired......

I dnt wish to say this as I thought I can make it thru with all my will and efforts that i try to put in. But this isn't easy at all. I tried. I really want to win this war. I want everything to be perfect. Well I know wanting a perfection is not easy. So I lower the standard to good enough to be simple yet loving couple. It is possible! I just need more time and more talks. Trust me I never want to let go until you say so. Coz i think i still love you and i want to make this happen.

I keep having this mindset that I'm not good enough for u. I shall change for a better.

Yet there's one thing demoralized me. That's your stubborn attitude. You always want to show people tht you are okay but in actual fact you are not! You are willing to keep it to yourself yet u never want to tell people how u feel. That is why people around you think you are trying to act one nice person. Hey but I really don't think you r a horrible kid! You just plan to be like yourself. Why not think of being a little more humble and let people around you to dote you? Help you, care and concern for you? It makes you feel better n definitely change the perception of you in peoples mind.

Ahhh i say so much but I never ask how you wish to be treated and and how you want me to be as ur gf. I just wish we could talk about how we want our life to be. Sometimes I'm keeping quiet becoz I'm afraid to say the wrong things. You know I really want a happy outing with you n your friends. But I'm afraid to spoil the whole mood. i might not know what you all are talking about but i'll try to understand though. Aaa.... sounds easy but it's quite tedious uh! another thing I'm still trying to accept is how can anyone be able to hate someone here and next moment both of you are okay. I don't want to say this is bad. But why not make it permanent instead of being so fake to one another.dnt you all feel painful to lie about how much you love someone but you actually dnt feel good abt them! I'm gonna die if I choose to angry at someone and next moment I go back to her n say" heyyy! bestie forever" without even solving the problems accumulated before hand.

Now I can say I'm not feeling secure to be myself when I see how you all treat each other. I guess I know why I'm always so unsure and scared. You all live in your barrer all of you are just shelting for yourself i feel like im an atom bouncing around never able to get thru this barrer. I'm like a big kid who doesn't know what kind of life you all are living in. Im just a simple older generation kid!

I'm tired of finding out and I think I'm not good at handling my problems.
But deep in me I'm still fighting for you. Coz I still think we can work this out. Can we?