why am i feeling so lousy now?

sigh.. i dntnoe..

time is running away..

life is super duper boring..

i find no meaning now to keep doing the things i'm doing.

6 more weeks.. good or bad? well... time is really running short. school life should be fun and i din enjoy every lesson i'm attending. shucks... its not that way right? why?.... i guess.. i'm just not having the passion in doing what i'm doing now. 6 more weeks... wah... i cannot imagine how more stress i need to go through after this short term break. arhhhhhhhhhhhh...... baka!

i'm so lost. ;(

girl...
i always tell myself if its mine i will get it.. if its not mine then i shall let go. nothing is forever. changes will always occur when we move on.
trust me.. u can find a better one. believe in faith. who knows... u might get a better one in future?
someone.. who can give u what u want. ;) at the same time u will also love that person more than those u had been with before. ;)
IF... its really faith.. both of u can just patch back one day? no one can stop u arh =)
cheers girl.. don't sob ok? i love u!. see u so xin ku.. i will feel pain in my heart. let urself out n breathe the fresh air and think through wat u really wan :) i will keep u near.. rmb?.. jus a call away. dnt forget uh!
lovess!

Labels: if its what we wan..

tired.

Steamboat day
its another day of x'mas celebration. HAHAS not spending my day out there.. but its a steamboat gathering @ my house! ;))

yup! invited some of my dearest frens to my hs.. wanted to call more... but my house issn't that big for so many of you. nxt time nxt time :))

sooooo... again went market and home sweet home... got to prepare the stuff as i haven't got the time to pack and get ready all the things. tireddddddddd but managed to get things ready on time. also get myself a short nap to charge my body alittle =D hee... super tireddddd.....


1st of alllll... i would like to thanks my dad! haha he was busy with his stuff yet seeing me rushing like nobody business.... he actually helped me to cook the soup while i'm napping.. and he also helped me to prepare the food for steamboat. THANKS SO MUCH!!!

of course not forgetting my coolest buddy beat. she came the earliest to see if she could help out. xie xie.. sorry if i actually ignore u when u said u were talking to me n i din ans u arh.. i'm too messed up whenever i'm the host. hahahs sorrrrry sorryy... (",)!

last but not least... i wanna thanks all my frens who came for this gathering =D

tadah!! these are my dearest frens! yummy hUh ??! hahahas

Labels: steamboat at mine hs

its CHRISTMAS DAY!!!! 25-12-09!

WELL.... so what where did i celebrate my x.mas?? hmmmm its soooooooo random.
well... went market to help out... leave early as i had lunch with m sushi tei mates! no other den regina. litong, victor! n meeeee hahahahas

we meet at 1.30pm.. and as usual we are late.. sorry litong.. make u wait all the time. du bu qi.... ;/
anw.... our motive is to visit madelineeeee! hahas she was transferred to city Sq. so we decided to go down to have our lunch! :))

SO LONG SINCE WE last met. missssssed them so much.

Labels: its xmas

CHRISTMAS EVE @ TOWN!

yeap..... its been years since i really have the mood for x'mas.
"hey vian! wanna go town tml? go join the crowd and COUNT DOWN" received a call from beatrice lee ching sian... :))

yes.. i don't mind!... I HAVE NEVER COUNT DOWN @ ORCHARD BEFORE. HAHA noob i noe.. bt to me X'mas is always nth really special. not as if Singapore will snow... if it will.... den i will CELEBRATE it every year. hahas ;D

reached town earlier for some mission. hahahas... (x'mas present)Treasure Hunting!!
ate earlier so din had lunch with that busy girl. nvm.. was there to get my mission done. =D


started off with kinokuniya. longgggg Queue like what Amanda had said earlier. yes.. long until.... i don't see the cashier at the spot where i'm standing.*faint* but nvm.. I'm there to kill my time (^c")
walked around TAKA for hours... from basement till last level... walked up n down a few time. hahas like patrolling TAKA like tat.

got my X'mas present, done with my treasure hunting... and its about time to......... meet up with beatrice! both of us were exhausted from walking so we went to food republic to get some bites and let our "sour" feet some rest.



7..8..9..10..11... 11.59......

MERRY X"MAS!!!!!!
its after 12am! crowds everywhere... not only traffic jam! but also HUMAN JAM!!! goshh..




beautiful lighting just missing of white falling snows....... hahahas... but with new technology.... human invented snow sprays! hahahahahs....


see its snowing........ ;))

Labels: x.mas eve

why can't this term break be longer?????

i got a lot things to do!

a lot a lot a lotttttt..... sigh..

i'm super vex about what to do next. what does the next mean. is after i grad.. sighhh..really i'm super worried. cousin called me to talk about it too. =/ still very unsure of my future track.
worry worries worried !!!!!

at the same time... many of them tell me not to panic. is not too late to make decision after i grad. but i just don't feel save to not think about it now. sigh...

haha i almost got myself to sign on with army force.
i'm thinking why not work with this stable job 1st and den think of what i can pursue after this right? actually this isn't a bad idea. but! i also have to think of after the bond is up.. what i can do! gosh again.. a big question mark. sian........

fan la... so many things not settled down. at this age issit when we have to make decision? issit at this age that we have to go through all this pressure to make a choice...????
i know i shouldn't run away...
so many choices.. so many different path. which is the right one? pls tell me...... sigh

i left with 12days! arggggg... damn sick of counting down.
so many things.... piling up!
more n more stress. pls give me an organised brain! i hate to rush.. yet i'm not good at organising my stuff. freak.

its coming to an end of 2009. x'mas is around the corner. new year is just next week.
why do all these holidays fall on this term break?! and freaking school! giving so many assignment to do. FREAK!~ angryyy

leaving....
Note: next wed, 4e3 ppl!!!??? free? can we meet up for dinner or anything?? its so long since we last meet.

jiat xing! prawning....and dinner at sushi tei? WHEN!? and u still u bluff me about having buffet dinner at watever hotel!!! WHEREEEE!!!!?? bluffffff me! hahas..

LOLA WONG! dnt work n workkkkk! i noe u got no choice... bt sian.. ur off day will be like when???? trying to ask u out, but no right timing ehhhh! sian. jx and me is waiting for u to prawn out BIG PRAWNS! heee...

DEVON HENG n RONALD LOW!! ur are so crazy to spam my facebook with the KOREAN grp SNSD concert at korea!! sot de! LOLX make urself free on wed night as well? gatheringggggggg!

Labels: freaking FAN..... ff

emo day.

'Reflection'
I'm thinking a lot again..

sometimes i rather let myself to be busy with work than to stay home n rot. my mind will run wild on her own. sigh..

when I'm home, i become a lazy bum.
"i will do it later" become one of my favour excuse. time just passed by me........ every time i looked at the clock, i knew I'm still not done with anything.! shit!

where is my time management? sighhhhh

this week i worked alternate days. Mon, wed, Fri and sun. i packed my 1st week of term break with this and that already! goshhh.
2 weeks isn't enough for me.

stop me. control me pls....
many more Juniors part timer are working now.
nice meeting you guys. :) interesting ppl.

should i join army force? have been wondering..... if.... i should.........

Labels: thinking..

I don't like the feeling.

sick...

Can anybody help me im outta plans guess l left my world
in somebody's hands i don't like to hurt but but everyone
gets weak someone to rely on that's what i really need

Now here we stay its all that were worth i've been thru the
pain and been dragged thru the dirt whatever they tell you
were bigger than words i've been where your standing i
know how it hurts let this be a song now and this be a day
and we stand together well be okay

Because were survivors were making it work expecting
the best when they hope for the worst

`
`
`
One Love...

pain in there.. ouch.
heal me pls.

Labels: one love

i'm bored..

i want to blog .. but i don't have all the recent photos to blog. nvm.. shall wait..
one said.. months later, she will upload those pics... another one nv say anything.. and one more said soon. ;)) i shall wait.

even though i have all the pics, i think i'm lazy enough to edit n post up those pics. hee.. sigh..

i'm bored. tired.. don't know what to do.

today i went IKEA. haha 1st time been to IKEA. i think its a very cool place to go. :) especially when u need to redesign ur house! cooool place to get all ur stuffs.. all the super urban utensils! hahahas i'm almost losing control to grab all the things IKEA is selling! its cheap.. and nice in design! ;D

pics will be up soon. i guess. hahas
we had lots of fun in there too. we havent had so much fun together uh. am i right? hahas pencils... pillows....toys..... and wat more? KAISIN"S BOXes! hahahahas like a karanguni =x we also had a yummy dinner in IKEA! meatballs.. chicken wings... pasta... deserts.. and more..... just like how we always enjoy our heavenly food! never say no to nice food. hee.

however..... i find it a waste of time to travel all the way........ to queenway to buy their stuff. sigh.. damn long a journey. almost an hour journey there n back.

alright.. today i'm super tired.....seems like travelling ard this small red dot.. also can be super tiring...
someone issit in a good mood.
whole day seems bored. and coming to the end of the day, someone become emo. what can i do for u ? just name it. i will try my best to cheer u up!. :)) cheers! PINO will keep u accompany. My pink melody will guard u throughout as well. hahas no more tears no more sad face. :)) smileeee!

goooood nites. i want ... to... ...... ....

Labels: sweetdreams

sorry... i know its another SUNDAY.. and still nothing has been posted up..

i got quite a lot of things to update.. but..... either pictures not with me now.. or i don't know what to blog about. psps...

soon ok.. =) picturessssss from kaisinnnn..n shilinnnn...

another week is coming to an end. its SUPER ULTRA FAST!
someone is finally back. (:

yet another one is leaving.... when is mine turn to leave! hahahahas... i also wanna go oversea.. i want to see snow...... i want to shop shop.. i want to explore explore.... be it is up at the MOUNTAIN... or be it in the forestz..... hahahahahs.. i just want to go out to tour around!

1 more week.. and our term break is here again.. trying to plan my time and schedule accordingly.. this time round...less work? more breaks? more time with family? more time staying home? hmmmmm... question marks.....??

i got the feeling for xmas (: don't know why.. i guess is due to my craziness over my Cafe World... hahahas.. i spent a huge sum on the X'mas deco again! gosh... bt i love it. it makes me feel satisfied :) so happy doing up the decoration hee...

sigh... i know there is something i still haven't start on.. its pressuring me every now and then... :'(
just end off with 5 tests... 4 presentations... now gonna start on it sooooon.. sigh.. sighhh.

*another thing...*
i know.. these "hungry monsters" have been pestering about steamboat at my house again! hahahas... okok.. either x'mas week or the week after.. or.... whatever date ur can give me.. i will see if i can make it possible again ok :) thanks!

i will see you again! tata...

Labels: i hear u again :)

have been thinking a lot recently..


many questions.. many doubts..


many a times... i feel lost.. many a times i feel like dying..

i know i'm not doing well recently. i know i have to do something to myself soon..

i have to. i will n i must.
yes..

jiayou tan wei hwan...

"don't know must ask.. be strong!"
i rmb u told me this.. i will rmb.. :)
ty..

2nd day... and i tot...
......
m
s

i screwed my life.. =(

i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry..

i feel so helpless and hopeless..

wo hen xin ku...
:.( sobbing..

gugu xiexie ni jie wo de tian hua... du bu ji...