my luck isn't very good recently...

have been obstructed with many many obstacles. :(

seen the day i got myself a new environment and a new lifestyle, i find myself facing lots of obstacles.

I'm not as lucky nor as cheerful as i were before. I'm not the me i thought i were...
i believe in my 6Th sense.
sometimes i can sense something bad will happen before i actually get to go through it. however... many a time i just give it a miss and never take note of what i have sensed.
i'm just so careless and dumb... sigh

i don't know what's my personality?
i don't know what is my strength...
i don't know what i'm good at....
i don't know if i'm that cheerful person who many of my frens thought so....
i don't know what i am.... who i am... and how i am....

if only i can have it all listed out.. i won't be so uncertain of myself all the time.

sometimes... i wonder.
am i counted a bad student.... or am i one already...?
i don't understand.
all the while, i thought i'm someone who is afraid of teacher, afraid of being out spoken...
i'm scared of being punished... being call up by teacher. i'm that timid!
but.......
but to many of them, i'm someone who talks a lot.. interact a lot and ppl even think i'm daring enough to do all sort of things... or even says i'm cheerful and out going. Oman...what am i??
sigh.. i'm doubting myself already... am i someone who has split personality?

i agree i'm an emo kid now..... im weirdo.. i think a lot..

have been a trouble maker in sch recently.. sigh.. what am i doing?? i also don't know..
i'm making a mess in my sch life right now.... =(

if only i'm a hack care person... so i won't feel so pain right now..
i might have just skip school.. run away from test n exams... ignore whatever punishment i'm going to face.... ignore every single word said by the Discipline committee. sighhhh...

but i'm not that hack care student.. i mind a lot. i mind my personal record. i don't want to have black list anymore... :(

my luck isn't with me now. pls... come back to me... i need you......

Labels: what am i

what to say...

I'm just gonna be like this all the time. sigh...
controlling my myself.. clenching my teeth.. keeping myself calm..... i tried..... sometimes.. it just go out of control. :(

i know myself well. and i knew this will happen to me. i knew it...
i just wish things will come to an end... and that's the END... pls... sigh.

I'm just like a mute.
swallowing everything down is the best way to resolve things.
whenever things start to overload on me... i'm no longer behaving like myself....
just like an idiot..
i'm sorry... =..(
i'm so fortunate..
there's always ur to be my angels :)

again... i don't know wat to say... but... i'm sorry ... and.... thank you. :)

its.... 6.30am now.. n i looked out of my window... i see the sky is getting brighter... i know i should be happier to have myself staying throughout the night mugging on my work. and i did completed the things i wanted to finished up. :) a smile is not enough....
as i know soon i will feel the stress again... sigh..

i should let go a little... pls smile a little longer! u can do it! hwan :))

beat... u are like a little pig sleeping on my bed hahas... sorry.. u pass me those pillows i haven't get to touch them uh... sad... u think should i bring one along with us? hahas.. i'm sorry but i need to bring those stressful things along with me... bare with me alittle... u just go ahead and enjoy.... i will stay in and mug on my test next week.... :)

kaisin! i miss you! hahas i don't want see u so tired.. okay! don't make urself work every weekends! u are alrdy in IPP from morning till night! pls get some good rest ok :)

! sahah... !gnipeewhgno
i know you will be busy with your weekends as well.. just wanna say Take Care.. cya soon... and... i missyou! hahas... doubt you will even think of me la. sigh. hahahas :)
i shall say in advance....
GOOD NIGHT! pls slp tight and sugar dreams :)) hugs...

beat.....................................!!!!

its time to wake up!!!.... my SUPER LOUD alarm is going to ring in 10mins time!!!!!! don't jump out of my bed like zombie okay! hahahahahahahs.... i'm actually talking to myself.. see how cool to have a sleepless night! boooh.....

gtg....i need to email my work to my dearest grp leader b4 i go!! ohhh... tongliang jiayou!!! :)

beat.....sigh.... =/


oh before i gooooo..
last nite was zhangYang Bday!
ONCE AGAIN!..... HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDA TO YOU!
HOPE ALL UR BEAUTIFUL DREAMS WILL COME TRUE SOON! :) TC N CYA

Labels: its a friday

SEE WHAT WE ALWAYS DO!


i swear i never tell Beatrice what I'm going to wear that day... and this is not the 1st time already... hahahas



we always tend to wear the same colour or even same POLO tee.


ytd, i was working split shift.. and beat msg me to ask if i could accompany her to look for her CROC!... so bad Beatrice spoilt my plan to stay in sushitei and do my revision during the 3 hours break. HAHAAS =X
Well, in order not to let her feel lonely.... HAHAHAHS i agreed to be the spare tyre and roam around marina SQ with her. :)

alright... we said to meet at 3.20pm.... yet this piggy still dare to say i will be late! end up i reached city hall MRT station 1st! heee.... waited........... beat was here :)

there we go.... green top... dark berms...same brand belt...and White shoes and slipper!
beat almost wore the red Adidas watch la!
HAHAHAHAHAS... i insist to take a photo of our outfit. :) so funny.

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randomly... i see the contrast in the 2 melody and Amanda's outfit! goshh....

Combination of ..... RED WHITE AND PINK!

ehh.. seriously... i din ask u to open ur umbrella! some more its not raining eh! i think if people din see me taking a photo of u... they might just think you are insane la! HAHAHAHS
hmmm... but from what i see.. the contrast of the umbrella and you outfit blend in well :)
all thanks to photographer....Vivian Tan Wei Hwan wink* HAHAHAHAHas....
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while chatting with JiatXing at Novena Sq.....
we met this Eurasian boy.
this boy is super FUNNNY!

by looking at the pictures... you should somehow know what is going on right... HAHAHAHAS
he is trying to entertain us i guess...

afew time he stood at the door there like a status! passerby looked at him with a ? on their head. HAHAHAS

at 1st he was running about like what kids usually do.... later on, he took a water bottle and start throwing into the shopping centre.. as u know there are auto sliding doors at all entrance. and this boy.... happily ran towards the door and throw in his empty water bottle in. a few times the door remain open so he actually managed to pick it up whenever he throws in.
until once..... he throw the water bottle in. and the sliding door shut in front of him. he tried to pull open the door. but he couldn't get the door open.... HAHAHHAHHAS he starts to panic! he ran towards his mum and call for help. HAHAHAHAHS super funny de.

later on... after he got his water bottle back, he finds it boring to throw his water bottle in the shopping centre.. so he walked secretly towards the escalator with his water bottle.. and all of our eyes were actually staring at him. wondering what he would do next. i felt that it was too dangerous for him to go so near the escalator! I'm like OMG.... what is he going to do!
just when his mum was about to ran toward him and drag him back.... this little boy did an extremely legend thing! HAHAHAHAHHAS... he smile at us... at the same time raise his water bottle up and the nxt second.... he threw his water bottle down the escalator! what the shit la!... all of us were laughing like mad! and u know what! the escalator do have people coming up!! and they all looked stun when this boy did that! HAHAHAS.... seriously... his actions are super FUNNY.
however, after a few time seeing him being so naughty... i find him irritating! =x
toooooooo hyper activate! and he just can't sit there and eat his food! hahahahas... i did video down his funny actions. but lazy to post up.. heh heh.. psps..


ok.. i guess beat is going to kill me... coz i supposed to go sch at 1pm.. know i'm still at home! omg.. sorry beat... heee.... ciaoo!

OHH...
TAN WEI HWAN sole shots.... :)
catch the coolest shot of HWAN!
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Labels: good night

today..... another early morning to school. sigh..
i know i shouldn't complain as it is all becoz of our project that we want to score well... so we have to make it possible by reporting to sch early and complete it ASAP. yup.

glad to hear from our t-cher that we had great n innovative ideas =)
tong! all thx to your expertise in investment... now we might have to work on that. omg! i totally have got no idea of how investment is going to be like. ahahahas... well.. still i hope we can manage our time and everything well. JIAYOU!
"VTS portal" Value Trust Service" = Val. Vian. Tong. Sak

well... straight after project lesson, we still have another 2 hours lecture to attend. half of the class wasn't interested in that lecture. including me. i'm shagged.... in my mind i only want to get myself home asap.. settle down and plan some stuff before i get my rest. that was my plan before i receive siyu's call.

yes.... so what makes me change my mind... all thanks to plate siyu!
1st of all.... i tot i'm hungry.. so might want to have my late lunch! leave the lecture half way... to meet siyu n JJ. n frens... yup they wanna eat in sch. so headed to north canteen...
siyu asked if i would like to go anywhere before she starts work at 7pm. uhh.. kind of tired to walk ard ehh... and sooo she suggest movie? i was OKAY... i will prefer movie den anything.. hahahas coz no ned to walk. and i can watch the movie i wanted to watch heee....

sad to say.. the timing all don't go well with our timing. so no choice.... kind of being cheated HAHAHAHAS.. siyu, i don't mean u cheated me la.. but den i cannot just throw u in sch or ask u go home again ma... so i decided to accompany her till she start work. :)

well... cannot think of anywhere to go.. ended up.. we went city hall.. walked ard marina SQ. hahas stupid siyu.... make me sit with her at mac to eat 2 LARGE Fries! omg! we just sit there n chat... like for 1 hour plus? just before we can leave raffles place shopping centre toward siyu's work place... the sky starts to rain cats and dogs.... goshh... no choice but to call for help. siyu called her supervisor for help....

the most funniest thing was.... one of the cook in that restaurant came to rescue siyu's instead HAHAHAHS
aiya..still it is much better den u drench yourself by walking over under the heavy rain right. :)

sometimes i really wonder.. u do have a kind heart.. but why do u behave not like one? hmmm....

Labels: out of sudden

The Day When BEATRICE & SHILIN treated VIVIAN and KAISIN! :)

school ended late though... due to projects...
kaisin end her FYPJ late as well. busy week for us. leave school at 6.45pm. before hand, we planned to dine in in Billy Bomber @ The cathay. :) so there we goooo..... train to dhoby ghaut. just in time.. beat n shilin alight at the same timing as us =) so QIAO"

i'm hungry.. and all i can rmb was the BIGGEST burger in BILLY bomber. its super TALL! and stack up with ALL theirs special toppings. opps.. seriously... i finished it all up! like WOAH WOAH..! HAHAS

haven't get to meet my threesome. and today! we FINALLY MEET! =D
order our cravings.......
1
2
3
4
5
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...
....
.....10mins? or soo... i'm hungryyy... seriously my tummy is shouting."i wan food" hahas
Finally!

Kaisin's creamy chicken! like a NICE! :)


follow by.... SHILIN's crispy CHICKENs!!!! wah.. thumbs UP! =P

Labels: a day out there n thx beat n shilin

shit me... was so excited to blog about ..

yet now mood gone down. plus i'm dozing off aagain.. sighhh..

will update in a while? i'n tired le ;(

whats right and whats wrong?

time is tight for me now.

being so clueless what will happen next and so on..

the only thing i can do is to move on one step at a time.. explore each step and choose between YES or NO. so critical.

every night i dream... there will definitely be something in comment. not to mention.. but I'm super sick of myself hanging there like that. how i wish i do have a life long adviser to guide me along.

when will i get to find out who i am?
*still figuring"

everyway everyday
faraway faraday
maw mad
oneway oneday
sawder sadder
wander dander
weep deep
wye dye
fcuk scuk.

The Journey Begins....

Labels: NE self trip

i wet my pillow once again. :(

in order to kill my pain... i should start to work harder, work from day till night..work to kill my time, work to kill my nonsensical braincell.. work to make me feel occupied. i think i will do that from now. i hope it helps.. I'm a failure. i admit. never success in getting what i want to achieve. sigh..

if i could choose my life again. i will choose to be a stone. live like a stone is so much better den being a human being.
there's nothing for me to worry, to think, to stress.. to even cry over. coz being a stone is just A STONE. agree?

i don't know why. i'm emotional. i hate myself to think so much. it make me feel like giving myself a big tight slap.

today i had a long day in school plus i din get enough sleep the day before. i was trying to keep myself attentive during lessons. i managed to pay attention throughout my lectures, tutorials and even group project discussion. i knew i will have to bear my tiredness till end of the day as I'm heading to working straight after my lessons. i left school and took a train down to raffles mrt.

i simply wanna take a good rest before i start work. yet my mind just don't give me the chance to stop all the thinking. I'm dread... my mind is crazy. i don't noe whats wrong with me. No.... i should say.. i know what's bothering me. but i don't know how to handle it. :(
din get any slp throughout that long journey. :( alighted at raffles. hungry.....
walked to sushi tei. trying to keep my mood to the max. however, its not going to last any longer. i feel empty and bothered. I'm sorry to those ppl i show attitude at. I'm like a dead person, brain clotted. sorry.

its still an on running Marathon. when will it come to an end??

Labels: i'm being bothered...

finally i got my laptop back.


still unhappy after servicing..

i sent for servicing but i still hear noises when i play my songs. wth..



bring to sch and reformat my lappy. TMD tat IT guy. thinks he is so big shot. -.-!
asked him how long will it takes to complete the reformat plus installation of all my software and stuffs. he gives those kiam pa face and replied " 2 to 4 days, what sch are you from? so i said. DIT. den he says" still 2 to 4days depends on our IT stuffs have any other com to reformat anot lo."
then another IT man told me BUT "should be no problem to be done in 2days time". i die die oso have to reformat my com so i filled in the form and passed him my lappy. that kaopeh guy then told me need charger in order to do the reformatting. OKAY i told him i will bring it down again den.

nxt day. went to the help desk again.
i'm very polite to ask him again. i will like to reformat my laptop. what else i need to fill in? fucker... he simply show no manners when talking to people. he said "just fill in this form can liao".*nt looking at you when replying. WTH LA! cheebye. he talks to anyone of us oso so no manners de la! "US" means NYP STUDENTS. sickening ass...

is okay. i still have to reformat my laptop. so i filled in and pass to him. before i leave. i asked. can i come down to check if my lappy is ready by tml or the following days? he den say we will call u if its done. =.=! seriously i feel like slapping him.

3 days later....
i went to the help desk. saw that ass again....and i asked.
hi, may i check if my laptop is ready for collection? he din even check. he straight away shoot one qus for me. "did anyone call you?"
i answered" hmm not yet, but its 3rd day ardy."
he den says "i did mention it will take 2 TO 4 DAYS RIGHT?"
FUCKER!!!
tat day i send in and the IT man told me its should be no problem to be done in 2 days wat!!!! CCB.
is okay! i walked out den.....

until TODAY! MONDAY....and its the 7th day from the day i send in my lappy le.
this time round i went in. making sure if i don't get my laptop today, i will definitely shoot him back.
so i politely asked him again. Hi, can i check if my lappy is ready by today?
he finally lift up his bloody head and looked at me. he stood up and walked to the back of the office without replying me..... I'm getting so pissed over his ignorance attitude. TMD!
only after awhile den he say, Vivian right?

"YES" i replied.
NOW den i saw my lappy on his bloody hand. he din say anything about my laptop. and just passed it to me. so i wanted to confirm that everything is installed back in. so i asked issit all the software are installed in there? as usual.... he replied in that fucking ignorance tone." yah, we installed those we think its necessary to be used in school."

to end off the conversation. i said thankyou and walked out of that admin office. omg.... i just cannot believe how can nyp hired such idiot to be SIT helpdesk man! he is totally freaking rude! his mind must be full of BULLshit. freakkkk... just wish nyp can faster sack that idiot guy. ~~

sigh... got back my lappy..and i need to reset many things oso. mafan....

third week of sch. its...... so damn fast.....

alright pics for ivy's chalet, siyu's bday treat and Halloween nite will be uploaded soon. i'm super lazy to edit hahahahs.. shall see when i'm free =D

okok.. its 3.40am.. i'm still up here. omg!
k bye. bored-ring.... like a S-I-A-N....
nitesweetdreamsmuackx! :)

Labels: like a mad